Homeland

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I hear it in bird song.

I feel it in rain.

I breathe it in winter.

I can’t hear it again.

 

There’s a peculiar feeling

Of silence and stillness

That I grasp for,

Without success.

 

There’s a feeling of solitude

Without pain, or fear.

A feeling of peace,

Knowing something holds you dear.

 

There’s something I find

Pressed up into you,

In the protection of your arms.

A feeling of something true.

 

When my eyes are closed,

And I’m about to fall asleep–

I grasp that stillness,

And feel my heart leap.

 

I found you, through pain and glory.

I found you, and it hurts,

But that is only payment

For knowing I won’t suffer more broken hearts.

 

I will stay with you,

In my broken homeland

Of roses, thorns, and words.

I will stay, because you understand.

 

You understand me when I can’t

Bear to be touched again.

You understand when I joke and laugh,

But there is something wrong right then.

 

You understand me, and you love me–

Even when I try, and fail.

You even understand when I

Don’t try, and reward me when I prevail.

 

Thank you for providing me

A place where I can be sane.

Where I can relax, and breathe for once,

Instead of surviving through the pain.

 

I know I complain, and I know I cling–

So, thank you for listening

When I’m losing myself.

Thank you for loving.