Reach Me With Halos

Standard

Reach me with your good,

Say that you mean well.

Lie to me if you must–

After all

You only want what’s best.

Lie to me if you must–

You seriously don’t believe

I can see your reasons?

Your silly belief behind

Every little lie?

Don’t you think I can see

You don’t want what’s best for me?

 

You want what’s best for you,

So I don’t leave you behind.

You need me behind you,

Supporting you and loving you

But you won’t do the same for me.

You never do the same for me.

 

I’m tired of saying you’re okay;

And I’m tired of forgiving

Your little mistakes.

I want what’s best for me–

And that might not be,

That might not be….

 

That might not be you.

 

INSPIRATION: Halo by Evans Blue

Today is the Day

Standard

Today is the day I begin Blogilates. Today is the day I add it on to my NORMAL workout routine of swmming at least six days out of seven. What will this entail? Me stealing my father’s laptop on days he works, of course! As well as me accessing YouTube on my iPod and hanging out in my room. I’m kinda scared of all of this work, but at the same time, it’s about time.

Even though I lost three pounds doing it MY way, I’m pretty sure that by doing it both mine–and their–way will either kill me, or cause me to lose weight even faster.

Even so, I’m excited about it. I’m eager to get this workout routine in, and be a part of a community dedicated to weightloss–and keen/able to kick my ass if I mess up somehow.

This is going to be fun.

Or…terrifying.

YOU BE THE JUDGE!

With love, the soon-to-be-healhier Half-Mad Writer, currently sitting at 205 pounds (used to be 208).

A New Vow

Standard

Right now, I am working as hard as I can to lose weight. So, a bit about me–I was never thin. I was always curvy. Okay, okay–I was always edging into the realm of fat. I’m short, and currently weighing around 200 pounds. So, I’m not exactly healthy.

I hate it. Naturally, my darling boyfriend doesn’t care about my looks–he, in fact, likes me just how I am now. He’s said often that he thinks I shouldn’t worry about my looks whatsoever, but….I need to. I need to worry about my looks. I need to get thinner, and that’s a fact.

However, I’m in danger of causing myself bodily harm from doing this.

I need to figure out how to eat well, without starving myself. So, I need to count calories less and balance my workout load with my calorie intake.

However, this is going to be hard. I really don’t want to eat a lot anymore, but then that might turn into an eating disorder.

I don’t want to get that extreme.

I know my love wouldn’t allow me to do it, but then again, he doesn’t know everything I do about my weight loss right now. In fact, he isn’t going to find out about the diet pills my mom is going to get me to help me lose weight. I really am never going to tell him about that, because I am…I am pushing what I’m doing.

I’m scaring myself ever so slightly, and I’m getting worried I will just do myself harm.

So, that’s why I’m going to make myself a vow.

I’m not going to kill myself with this. I’m going to lose weight in a healthy fashion, by eating a good amount and remaining continually hydrated. I’m going to exercise–a few KM walk and an hour-long swim session of laps at the beach (or, seeing as I can’t feel my feet for blisters, two hour-long swim sessions). I’m going to be healthy.

I’m going to do this for me, and I’m going to get from 106 pounds to 180 pounds.

WITHOUT killing myself in the process.

This is the Half-Mad Writer, saying thanks for listening to my rambles.

I love you all.