In Defense of Simplicity

Standard

Without a greater reason,

There lie those

Who try to sleep.

They pull away,

React

With emotions–

Simply because

They’ve learned it’s useless

To fight.

They know that,

Unless they scream,

Not a soul

Will listen.

Despite their protests–

Both loud,

And silent–

They know

They will grow

Tired of reacting,

Tired of caring.

They know

They will cease

To exist inside–

As that is how

They are treated

Outside.

Break Up With Me If You Think I’m Unreasonable

Standard

I’ve been patient.

I’ve been calm.

I’ve understood.

I’ve defended you to my parents.

I’ve watched over you.

I’ve watched anime with you.

I’ve let you spend time with her.

I’ve let you emotionally control me, abuse me.

I’ve let you think

That throwing money at me

Will make me okay again.

I’ve let you call me clingy.

I’ve let you leave me alone.

I’ve let you hurt me.

 

But now that time is done.

If you want me,

Come and get me.

If you want me,

Give me a reason to let you

Ever touch me

Again.

If you love me,

If you want me,

Show me some freakin’ proof.

Choose me for once.

Choose me, your GIRLFRIEND,

For once.

 

Put away your friends.

Come up with some ideas.

Spend time with me–

And don’t act like it’s a chore.

Stop making me compete.

Stop making me hurt.

 

Stop making me love you,

When it’s getting to be clear

You don’t care

Anymore.

Without Rhyme Nor Reason

Standard

I fell in love

With you,

A man I had never met.

Dark and dangerous,

Full of secrets–

Countless things that pulled me close.

You loved me,

A younger girl,

With a mind as broken

As her heart.

I fell in love–

How broken I was!

How fearful, how lonely.

How could you be

So patient with me?

 

I

Pulled away,

Couldn’t fight it–

But couldn’t stay.

I fled,

Eyes closed shut

And a mind

Unwilling

To admit it.

 

I ran away,

Wishing you

Would chase me–

But instead, you

Waited.

 

You knew

I would come back.

 

You stayed there, waiting.

You watched me

Weep, and grow.

You shaped me into

A healthier love

For you.

You let me grow,

Giving me a place

Where I

Can be safe.

 

Without rhyme, nor reason–

You stayed

With me.

Photographs

Standard

Little snippets of time, a raw attempt

To clutch at what slips away.

Sand of pixels,

Slipping through our eyesight–

An attempt to clutch

At the ghost that was

Your smile.

 

You

Slipped on, right by me;

Standing there with a camera,

I took as many

Snapshots as I had film

To try and recreate

The feelings you bring

For when

You are gone.

 

The photos came out blank–

Sheets of failures,

And dim ghosts

That can’t bring

Your smile

Back to life.

 

I take pictures still,

One day longing

To create

The things I had not done

When I was busy

Taking photographs

Of your smile.

You Broke Me Down (But I Got Back Up)

Standard

You probably still brag

About that girl you broke–

That girl, that little dark-haired girl…..

Who you tore in two.

You ripped out her soul,

Destroyed her childhood, and

Robbed her of innocence.

You shaped her

Into a tool you could use–

Something you could abuse,

Misuse,

And cause

To mistrust

Absolutely everything

In her life.

You took away her sense

Of her own self.

You made her second-guess

Everything:

Love, relationships,

Her every choice and mood.

You took away her ability

To breathe without

Fear of being seen.

 

I imagine

You still brag

About how you made her cry.

About how you tore her soul apart–

You probably still brag,

And still remember,

How you made her

Want

To die,

Just to escape you.

 

I imagine

You never forgot,

About me–

The girl you used until she

Couldn’t breathe

Anymore.

The girl you stole

From her heart and home–

Just to make her be

What you wanted her

To be.

 

I’m sorry, but that….

That isn’t me.

I’m able to breathe,

Able to see.

I’m dancing and smiling,

Proud of myself.

My body is improving,

My life is improving.

I’m getting better and better.

 

You keep bragging,

You keep mocking–

You’ll just keep

Lagging behind me

As I run.

 

I’m so much better than you–

Be proud of me,

You broken man.

 

Be proud of me,

As I destroy your soul

The way

You destroyed mine.

Reach Me With Halos

Standard

Reach me with your good,

Say that you mean well.

Lie to me if you must–

After all

You only want what’s best.

Lie to me if you must–

You seriously don’t believe

I can see your reasons?

Your silly belief behind

Every little lie?

Don’t you think I can see

You don’t want what’s best for me?

 

You want what’s best for you,

So I don’t leave you behind.

You need me behind you,

Supporting you and loving you

But you won’t do the same for me.

You never do the same for me.

 

I’m tired of saying you’re okay;

And I’m tired of forgiving

Your little mistakes.

I want what’s best for me–

And that might not be,

That might not be….

 

That might not be you.

 

INSPIRATION: Halo by Evans Blue

I Suppose I’m More than Delighted

Standard

The dangers were clear–

Excess skin, exhaustion, and depression.

Starvation mode–something I got close to hitting,

For real.

The dangers were clear.

My friends were supportive.

My lover…less so.

I knew there were problems,

But I knew I would be different–

I had faith in myself to make it.

Weight loss is something I can attain.

Three pounds, more than what I expected

In only a few days.

I can do this,

I know I can–

It hurts,

It aches,

But it feels so good.

I’m more than

Delighted

With the things

I have managed to do.

Even if my darling man

Doesn’t think I have anything to lose–

I’m happy

I’m different.